You know that awful, helpless feeling of knowing that everyone thought of you, but thought twice? These chaps probably spent their lives wishing they could be part of the “normal” crowd.
Now, not many of us have troubles as evident as these fellows, but in a dog-eat-dog world it’s pretty easy to find faults. It could be that you have a funny habit, that you need to comb your hair, or maybe that you’re (forbid the thought) unique.
So, what are you supposed to do when you’re the odd one out? You don’t want to be a tag-along, or a complainer, and the natural response is to seclude yourself and stew. But when it comes down to it, stewing only makes you less personable, stressing the problem.
When I was a kid I learned a trick that helped me to stay positive: I thought about my most loyal friend. While it was natural to say “I don’t have a friend in the world”, this thought allowed me to add an “except…” to the sentence. Even though that friend was seldom around when I felt down, just remembering that there was someone who was still my friend made me feel better—still not great—but better.
Filed under: friendship, independence, interaction, loneliness, strength
August 21, 2008 • 6:22 am
It is my latest epiphany that the only thing worth living for is giving. Allow me to exemplify this with a little tale.
One night I awoke from my slumber to a voice in the next room. I quickly remembered that my grandfather was sleeping in the next room for a few nights while recovering from medical difficulties. At first it was hard to make out what he was saying, but I soon realized that he was talking to no one but himself, even in his dreams. He became more audible as he continued, mumbling phrases like “music was my life… I used to be so great at it. And now I can’t even play my instruments.” He continued on, his mind dealing with other things he’s lost with his age. “I used to play tennis every day, and now I can barely hold a racket.” I was aghast with the thought that someday I too will be in his position.
What will I say in my sleep? What things will my subconscious take upon itself to unload from my mind as I waste away in my sleep?
Then it hit me. The only things that my subconscious will never have to handle in such a way are those things which I’ve given away. What things in life are so important that we really need to attend to more than giving? After all, we’ll all grow old, and all our joys will be stripped from us… save for one—observing the fruits of our efforts in generosity.
Filed under: change, comfort, decisions, dream, friendship, generosity, helping, importance, interaction, loneliness, losing, loss, priorities, sleep, Uncategorized
September 29, 2007 • 7:26 am
Just recently I was talking with a friend, and he mentioned how gold seemed to be the only currency in which you can put faith that currency is just paper with user-attached value. I found his point to be very true, and was reminded of just how poor I really am. We attach so much value to that number we carry around on our little plastic cards and in our little folding wallets. Then it hit me that not even gold is worth anything unless you can use it for something. I don’t know about you, but I don’t personally smelt my own solid gold jewelry on a regular basis—and even if I did, I’d need someone who would buy it with something that’s useful to me, not just someone who’d give me cash. Try living a happy life with the things you have… not counting that number.
Our Lady Peace put it well in one of their album titles, “happiness is not a fish that you can catch.” Ever noticed that when you’re busy and constructive you’re happier? The best times in our lives aren’t found in day-to-day living. I don’t look back on, say, a school year, and say to myself “man… I’m so glad I got to sleep at a decent hour each night!” or “I’m really glad my meals each day were sufficient.” Instead, I remember times when I was tested and passed, times when I discovered parts of my personality I didn’t know existed, times that I’ll never have again. In the same respect, Brad Pitt delivered a great line written by Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club), ”hitting bottom is not a weekend retreat.“
Filed under: belonging, change, interaction, money, priorities, value